The Corrupt Fool’s Desiderata

  • Page Views 2
  • Go placidly amid the noise and the spam,
    And remember, what a great commenter and naysayer you are.
    As far as possible, without losing your dignity,
    Try to avoid all face-to-face conversations.
    Speak your truth clearly and loudly,
    But only after scrolling through the comments section of every social media platform.
    And if they disagree with you, it’s their problem.
    But never forget to share your opinions with strangers,
    For your thoughts are as sacred as the hidden knowledge of the ancients.
    Take time to correct people’s grammar.
    Nothing brings more peace to the world than proper punctuation.
    Exercise restraint in your search for meaning,
    But never in your search for the perfect meme.
    If you cannot be brilliant, be louder,
    For volume equals authority in these stupid times.
    Keep a list of all your grievances,
    For only the chronically offended can genuinely see the light.
    Resist the temptation to accept things as they are—
    After all, reality is just a social construct.
    But know the vastness of your own shortcomings.
    For humility is overrated and largely for peasants.
    Take pride in your flawed perfection,
    And remind others that you are, at all times, just being real.
    If you are a failure at something,
    Make sure it’s someone else’s fault.
    Find solace in the fact that your shortcomings
    Are simply a byproduct of the world’s incompetence.
    Make friends, but never let them get too close,
    For trust is a valuable resource to be rationed.
    Remember to self-promote with abandon,
    For you are nothing without your online persona.
    In the face of crises,
    Remember: your unqualified opinions on global issues —
    Are just as valid as the experts’.
    Do not distress over the inevitable collapse of civilization—
    You’ve got Wi-Fi, and that’s all that matters.
    And above all, when the world crumbles beneath your feet,
    Know that you, the Corrupted Idiot,
    Are still right, and you always will be.
    Be well. (MBB)

    By Bella Balisi-Bevilacqua

    Share

    New Posts Recently publish post More

    • 23 December 2024
      1 hour ago No comment

      Mission/Vision FCCHS

      The Fil-Can Cultural Heritage Society of FCCHS is a non-profit organization established for the purpose of engaging the Filipino-Canadians to immerse themselves in the rich heritage of their ancestors. Our vision is to actively participate, celebrate and promote Filipino cultural and social heritage and values to the various Surrey communities and ...

    • Members & Officers of the PMB holding the City Proclamation of IMD at the CIty Hall in Barrie, Dec 17. (Photo credit: PMB)
      23 December 2024
      2 hours ago No comment

      International Migrants Day Proclaimed in BC and Barrie, Ontario!

      Victoria, B.C. — The Province of British Columbia proclaims December 18 as International Migrants Day in the whole province to recognize the contributions of migrants to the province as well as the many challenges they face in Canada. The Provincial Proclamation was witnessed and signed by the Honourable Janet ...

    • I'm hoping you can let me share the spotlight with Pareng Rey in this story about the "75 Faces of Migration". I'm sending here a photo of mine and for caption, just use my name: Carlito Pablo.
      17 December 2024
      6 days ago No comment

      PNT’s Rey Fortaleza and Carlito Pablo honoured in 75 Faces of Migration

      The “75 Faces of Migration” tells inspiring stories of Filipinos in Canada and their remarkable journey. The initiative is a joint undertaking by the Embassy of Canada in the Philippines and the Philippine Embassy in Canada. The storytelling project is one of the highlights of the celebration in 2024 ...

    • 12 December 2024
      2 weeks ago No comment

      PNT’s Rey Fortaleza and Carlito Pablo honoured in 75 Faces of Migration

      The “75 Faces of Migration” tells inspiring stories of Filipinos in Canada and their remarkable journey. The initiative is a joint undertaking by the Embassy of Canada in the Philippines and the Philippine Embassy in Canada. The storytelling project is one of the highlights of the celebration in 2024 ...

    • One in five immigrants will decide to leave Canada within 25 years. Photo by nappy on pexels.com.
      11 December 2024
      2 weeks ago No comment

      Onward migration: newcomers giving up on Canada

      Canada remains one of the most preferred destinations for immigrants. However, the country is struggling to keep newcomers. A new report reveals a rise in the number of immigrants leaving for other countries, a phenomenon known as “onward migration”. One in five immigrants who come to Canada will decide ...